I recall my last job loss more than 10 years ago as if it were yesterday. I have always had the reputation of being the logical, analytical one that doesn’t get sidetracked by the emotional aspects of life. There is some truth in that, but it all changed when my employer showed me the door. I was 100% emotional!

I wanted my old job back – and I wanted the pain to go away and the grief process to end.

I couldn’t look for work when it was a struggle to just get up. My husband, friends and relatives kept trying to cheer me up and encouraged me to look for other jobs. I wanted my old job back – and I wanted the pain to go away and the grief process to end.

At a loss as to how to handle all the emotions, I decided one morning to take a walk. Doing something physical got me out of my head and away from my heart and gave me some relief. So, I took a walk the next day… and the next… and the next. Everyday I added a little more distance, until suddenly I realized I was walking more than four miles a day. And my life began to change. Not only was I putting distance between myself and the raw emotions related to job loss, but I began to feel the stress melting away.  My mind started to clear, I had more energy and I felt more positive about life in general (I even lost weight!). The endorphins were making me “high” and I felt ready to get out there, “sell myself” and start a new career.

Sometimes when we get caught up between the heart and the head, it’s time to engage the body.

Sometimes when we get caught up between the heart and the head, it’s time to engage the body. In the movie Forrest Gump (1994), Forrest dealt with the heartbreak of loosing Jenny by running. He just started to run one day and when he reached the Pacific Ocean, he turned around and ran back to the Atlantic. He ran until he forgot why he was running, and then he hung up his running shoes and re-engaged in life.

If you are struggling with job loss, consider doing something physical to comfort your heart and clear your mind. Things will eventually work in your favor, but in the meantime, you need to get up and move. When it seems that the rug has been pulled out from under your feet and you can’t think straight to find a solution, you might want to follow Jenny’s advice…

RUN, FORREST, RUN!

Her situation was not unique. In fact, the norm is for people to change jobs as many as nine times during their career: many by choice; others by circumstance. Companies merge, restructure, are acquired or shut their doors, and talented, hard working employees loose their jobs. A shaky economy results in fewer direct hires and companies turn to employment agencies to fill vacant positions with short-term, contract professionals.

My client realized this, yet she felt somewhat ashamed of her many job changes. When she was successful with her résumé disguise and landed an interview, she quickly turned things around by responding to the hiring manager’s innocent inquiry about her job changes with a defensive stance, stating a version of, “It’s not me, it’s the economy.”

Trying to disguise the facts or hoping the employment market would “go back to the way it use to be” was getting her nowhere. There is no question, the employment market HAS changed, many of these changes are permanent, and many more changes are on the horizon. Before she could successfully secure employment, she first needed to accept this new reality and then work on putting a positive spin on her experience.

“Acceptance” is an internal change and it takes time. Putting a positive spin on her experience was something she and I could begin doing right away.

“Acceptance” is an internal change and it takes time. Putting a positive spin on her experience was something she and I could begin doing right away.

My client is a senior accountant and has worked for three staffing agencies since 2006. During that time she held contract positions with a globally recognized Fortune 500 manufacturing firm, a multimillion-dollar leader in the publishing industry, the world’s most famous arena located in the heart of NYC and is currently on assignment with one of the leading arts schools in the United States.

Sadly, she decided not to include this information on her résumé and robbed herself of an opportunity to share her experience managing financial applications for multiple business models. Instead, she merely listed accounting duties she performed during specific time periods.

I pointed this out to her and asked her what else she gained through her experiences and what added value she could offer a prospective employer. She told me she demonstrated ability to quickly respond to change and adapt to new environments and was sensitive to cultural differences in companies and people. She has learned and used multiple accounting software applications. She has grown a large and diverse network of professional contacts and brings a more global perspective of what is happening in the industry than she would have had she only worked for one employer. In each of her assignments she leveraged lessons learned from previous assignments to improve processes and create efficiencies.

Managing change – being culturally sensitive - learning and using new technology - keeping pace with industry evolution - improving processes and cutting costs.

These are skills that are in high demand by companies and for which they are willing to pay a premium salary to the candidate who possess them. My client had never looked at it this way before, but suddenly the light came on. She had nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, she had things to offer that eluded many competing job candidates.

She had created a false barrier that was holding her back. Once she realized that she was the one who had put it there in the first place, it was easy to remove and begin using as a key to open new doors.

I was so entrenched in my previous role, that knowing how to look, act and talk like a professional was challenging.

When I initially went out on my own as a single mom with the intent of changing “careers” (from full-time wife and homemaker to professional), I struggled with this concept. I was so entrenched in my previous role, that knowing how to look, act and talk like a professional was challenging.

I recall the time I was headed out the door for my first job interview. I was dressed in a suit and wearing heels and make up. My seven-year-old daughter looked at me and said, “You don’t look like my mom. My mom is all scrunched up.”  Although she was just a child, I quickly recognized her insight as a metaphor for how I saw myself and interacted with the world around me: “scrunched up” by my self-image and belief that I could never rise above my current state of affairs and succeed in the workplace.

Yesterday, I was coaching “Becky,” a lovely woman who had spent her entire career as a registered nurse – more than 21 years. She had recently earned a bachelor’s degree in healthcare management, was currently pursuing an MBA, and eager to transition to a new career in healthcare administration. Becky’s overriding job-search concern was how to let employers know that she is qualified for a management position.

We located and evaluated a healthcare administrator job announcement and identified the duties and required skills. Then I asked Becky to select from the announcement one duty she has performed or skill she possesses.

She chose “ensuring quality of care” as an essential area of responsibility and something that she does consistently. When asked to support this with an example, she shared the following: “I am very compassionate and always go above and beyond to help the patient. I had one patient who was upset by how the previous shift nurse treated her. I listened to her concerns, apologized for how she was treated and later bought and delivered her a gift from the hospital gift shop.”

It was a lovely story and certainly illustrated that she is indeed “very compassionate.” Unfortunately, it also positioned Becky as a nurse, not an administrator.

I stressed that she needed to mentally and emotionally “step away from the patient bedside” and into the “board room.” Healthcare administrators ensure quality of care by providing adequate resources, training and supporting staff, enforcing Joint Commission standards, and leading change. I was looking for an example of how she did any of those things and suspect that the prospective employer would be looking for the same.

Becky immediately grasped this distinction and shifted her thinking about how to market herself. Although she had listed several healthcare administrator skills in the core competency section of her résumé, she had neglected to take the time to think of examples from her career, which illustrate that she indeed possesses those skills.

As we went through the list one-by-one, I coached Becky through the process of formulating “stories” that illustrate her skills and experience relevant to those of a healthcare administrator and I could sense her concerns melting away. She may not currently hold the title, but Becky IS a healthcare administrator – she just needed someone to help her see and believe it.

She thanked me for boosting her confidence and I silently thanked her for the reminder that many years ago I successfully transitioned to a new career. No longer “scrunched up,” I now empower clients to make their own successful transition!

I understand where job seekers are coming from; they believe that if they are too specific about what they want in a job and an employer, they will limit their opportunities. On the surface, this seems to make sense, but it does not work. Here are some of the reasons why:

If you are open… your résumé will read more like an obituary of your career than a focused and branded marketing document that clearly communicates your skills and value and how you can benefit the target employer. You will not know what to put in and what to leave out. It is a little like running an ad in the personal columns that reads: “I’ve done a lot of stuff, please phone if you’d like to date/marry me.”

If you are open… when people ask you what you are seeking, your answer will imply that you are willing to do anything, if only someone would give you a chance. (Anything? Come now, can you really do anything? Do you really even WANT to do anything?)

If you are open… family, friends and colleagues will not know how to help you because, like you, they haven’t a clue what you are looking for. So they end up making suggestions you may not like until finally they throw their hands up in frustration because you “really can’t afford to be picky.”

If you are open… you may spend a lot of time going to interviews that are not a good fit, making you more “open” to rejection. (I have no doubts at all that had I been less “open,” I would have had far fewer than 42 blind dates!!)

If you are open… you will wander aimlessly on job boards for hours on end, applying to anything that even remotely sounds like something you would be able or willing to do. Sure it keeps you busy, but while you are spending your time dropping your résumé in a bucket with millions of other resumes written by job seekers who are also “open,” the jobs are going to those select few who really know what they want and where to find it.

If you are open… it will take you longer to find employment; days will turn into weeks and weeks into months until one day you really do end up “settling” just so you can pay the bills.

Stop being open. Know who you are and what you have to offer. Visualize your ideal job and employer and use that vision as a road map to lead you to your desired destination. Tell everyone – in minute detail as possible – what you are looking for so they can help you  find it.

Looking for work is not all that different than looking for a fine restaurant or someone to date – if you keep yourself open to what ever comes along, you just may find yourself dining at the greasy-spoon with Dwight Schrute!

Some of the common reasons interviewers reject candidates are things that are totally within the job seeker’s control. Naturally, I can reference a dating experience to illustrate many of these:

• Showed up late: Getting lost or not planning enough time for the unexpected is not a good way to make a positive first impression. Don’t rely exclusively on your GPS or Google Maps to get you there on time. When you have an interview scheduled, if at all possible, do a “drive-by” the day before. This way you can assess traffic patterns and flow, check out parking arrangements, and determine how long it will actually take you to get there.

• Forgot his wallet: I don’t know if it was “Ed’s” intention all along that I pay for dinner, but showing up unprepared was definitely a deal breaker!  Arrive for your appointment fully equipped with your interview portfolio: 2-3 copies of your résumé (printed on professional bond paper); your professional reference list; a pen and paper; 15-20 of your best accomplishment stories (that align with the skills and requirements of the job and illustrate your ability to meet the employer’s needs); a list of questions you want to ask and the top three reasons the employer should hire you.

• Talked incessantly about himself: Too many candidates approach the interview with a “what’s in it for me” (WIIFM) attitude. The employer wants to know what you can do for them. This may sound a little harsh, but the interviewer is not all that concerned about what he can do to make your life better. There is a fine line between blowing your own horn to “sell” yourself and monopolizing the conversation. Show a sincere interest in the company and the people who work there – this will score you high points on the “likability spectrum” and people hire people they like.

• Called me “Peggy”: This goes hand-in-hand with lack of preparation and WIIFM attitude and implies a totally lack of concern for the interviewer or the company. Take time to research the company ahead of time. Learn about their products/services, customer-base, industry contributions, goals and challenges. Ask who you will be interviewing with, Google them and read their LinkedIn profiles (you can be certain they will be checking you out prior to the interview!) And before you leave, make sure you get the business cards of everyone you met.

• Failed to check his “baggage”: Unless you loved your last job and left with the blessings of your former employer, you may be harboring resentment, anger, or lingering depression over a relationship that went bad. As difficult as it might be, it is imperative that you leave that baggage behind and approach each interview with enthusiasm. When a candidate even hints at an inability to let go of past disappointments or get along with others, it dramatically weakens their chances.

• Blew his nose on the restaurant’s cloth napkin: The date was going fine, until suddenly “Frank” forgot his manners! When you show up for an interview, remember that you are “on” from the first moment you set foot on company property. The person you meet on the elevator or in the rest room may have a say in the hiring decision. Don’t mess up the reception area by strewing pages of the newspaper everywhere or leaving behind a coffee cup. Watch your body language and be aware of those little things you do when you are nervous – like twirling your hair or flipping the end of your tie.

And the ultimate mistake and reason for rejection…

• Ending the date by stating “Thank you for being seen with me”: Had things not gone so poorly the entire time together, I might have cried when he said that instead of quickly showing him the door. Some job seekers are so lacking in self-confidence that they nearly talk the interviewer out of making them the offer. Boldness and confidence will often do more for you in an interview than a college degree or experience.

Don’t let poor preparation and presentation cause you to fumble the interview. Make every minute count.

Yes, I do have a dating analogy to answer those questions!

Suppose you accept a date with an outdoorsman who wants to take you hiking? Obviously the proper attire would be hiking boots, comfortable clothing, a hat and sunglasses (and please, do not forget the insect repellant!) Then, the next caller wants to take you to the symphony – image how well you would be received if you showed up at the symphony in hiking attire!?!

The point here is that when it comes to résumé formats, as with dating attire, you need to know what is acceptable to and compatible with the recipient and adjust as needed.

I recently returned from The National Résumé Writers’ Association 14^th Annual Career Conference, where I and other presenters shared samples of our work with attendees. Some of the résumé samples were amazing in terms of design elements. Tables, graphs, shaded text boxes, borders, color, graphics – I saw them all. Each of these creative designs would distinguish the résumé from the hundreds of others in the stack and inspire the recipient to take action. Or would they?

A former client emailed me last evening and informed me that the text boxes I included in his résumé were not visible to some of his recipients. My attempt to call out significant accomplishments in his career were lost somewhere in the transmission.

On another occasion, a client informed me that the graphic symbol I used instead of the standard “bullet” at the beginning of each of his accomplishments printed out as a dollar sign on his end. Although I could have argued that this was a subliminal message to the employer that he should offer my client a high salary, I quickly fixed this error.

Then there was the client who informed me that the recruiter did not like the tables I included along with his achievement bullets and he wanted them removed. In doing so, we would have eliminated vital information that spoke to his year-over-year revenue gains that reflected his outstanding sales abilities. I reformatted the resume to give the recruiter what he needed and wanted to see.

I know it is easier and more time efficient to stick with one résumé format, but as with dating attire, different situations and different audiences require different approaches. Create a résumé that reflects your style and brand, learn what you can about the recipient, and adapt accordingly to ensure the best match.

As for online applications, Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS), and Plain Text documents… I’ll save blogging about that subject for another time.

To achieve career success, take the time to know who you are and what you bring to the table.

That was the overriding message delivered by the trainer in a teleseminar I attended today on the subject of personal branding. I couldn’t agree more, yet most job seekers have never taken the time to do this.

When I first began my blind date “blitz” I had one goal in mind: Secure a long-term relationship. It made sense; after all, I was lonely and wanted the company of someone who wanted me and would take care of me.

If you are currently in the job market, you have one goal in mind: Get a new or better job. You too want to secure a long-term relationship with someone who wants you and will take care of you. So what’s wrong with that?

I frequently tell job seekers, that if a job is all they want, I’m certain McDonalds is hiring. See, the reality is that I was not looking for just any long-term relationship, just as you are not looking for just any job.

Before you begin your search you need to be clear about who you are –

A.K.A: Your Personal Brand.

• What are your key characteristics – the things about your personality that you know to be true?
• What do you like and dislike?
• What natural talents and learned abilities do you use to get things done?
• What is your functional knowledge; your experience in a particular field and/or industry?
• How do you think, communicate and approach life?
• What are your values – the things that give importance to your life?
• What brings you joy and energizes you?

Since I had married my “high-school” sweetheart, I had very little experience with relationships and very little concept of who I was. In the same way, many of my clients hired on with a company right out of high school (or college) and worked for that one employer – some for 20 years or more before being “let go.”

When I am working with job seekers who have suddenly been thrust into the market because they were fired, the company downsized, or a life altering event (such as a divorce or death of a spouse) the thing I hear most frequently is “I don’t know who I am, and I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

So, the first thing you need to do before you participate in the “dating game” aka “looking for work” is to take some time and find out who you are. By knowing who you are, you will recognize opportunities that are a satisfying match – and we all know that satisfaction with our work is a key ingredient to personal satisfaction.

If you’re serious about starting over and landing a new job, then you have to put yourself out there.

Early on in the 42-blind-dates-period of my life, I came across a delightful little book entitled The Divorced Woman’s Guide to Meeting New Men. Each chapter was filled with ideas on how to plan and execute a strategic search for a “mate”: Go where single people go; talk about subjects single people talk about; dress and act like a person who is interested in a new relationship. Be specific about the type of person you are seeking.

Not only did the book contain all kinds of great “networking tips”, I found that by reading it in public, the book title itself attracted the attention I was seeking!

I was recently talking with a prospective client about his challenges in securing a new job. He shared with me that he never had to search for employment in the past; people who knew of him and what he had to offer sought him out. Over the years, he quit “putting himself out there” and he slowly became another nameless face in the employment market and forgot how to connect.

A few years ago, the keynote speaker at the National Résumé Writers Association Annual Convention was Cameron Johnson, a 24-year old who made his first million before he graduated from high school. He shared with us one of the key principles of his success: finding the courage to put himself out there. “If you put yourself out there with confidence,” says Johnson, “you’ll find that most people respect you and respond well to you, whether or not they want what you’re selling.”

So, why am I sharing this information? Because I firmly believe that one of the biggest obstacles to overcome in finding a job and advancing ones career is an unwillingness to “put yourself out there.”

Contrary to the old adage “It’s not what you know, it is who you know,” the true secret to success lies in the answer to this question: “Who knows what you know?”.

Everyday, you need to put yourself out there. You need to go where successful professionals go; you need to walk the walk and talk the talk; you need to feel confident about what you are selling and let people know you are out there. Stop hiding behind your computer and depending on Monster.com to deliver your dream job. Stop sending generic letters and résumés telling prospective employers what you need and what you want.

Pick up the phone. Schedule an informational interview. Attend a networking event. Join a job club. Participate in LinkedIn groups and conversations. Get involved with a professional association. Volunteer your time and expertise. Image yourself reading The Confident Professional’s Guide to Marketing Their Talents and broadcast it with confidence… you’ll be surprised who will take notice.

By all means… please put yourself out there!!

For some professionals, this “dance” will continue on for years until either the company downsizes, the employee gets fired, or buckles under the stress and ends up quitting. During the time leading up to the final departure, many of the interactions one has and the feedback one receives begins to influence his or her self-perception, which in turn influences his/her ability to effectively look for work and make the best career decisions.

I frequently receive calls from potential clients who have “left the dance” (by choice or circumstances) and believe that their immediate need is a new résumé so they can quickly move on to their next employer. Unfortunately, for some, the quality of the résumé is not the primary thing standing between them and their next job… it’s their belief system.

Often when working toward an employment goal, what one desires can actually conflict with one believes is possible. Be it a “self-fulfilling prophecy” or the “law of attraction,” the reality is that if one sees himself as “damaged” in some way or undeserving of job satisfaction, he will subconsciously seek out scenarios that will confirm his beliefs.

In writing this blog and making analogies to my 42 blind dates, I never want to imply that the “dating scene” was flawed or each of my dates was “too picky”. These things may have been true at times, but due to my past failures and fear of failing again, I had to change my beliefs about how I saw myself and what I thought to be possible – or I would continue to fail.

If your career has traveled a bumpy road, characterized by multiple unfulfilling jobs, layoffs, and/or anxiety about facing another Monday morning, it may be a good idea to look inward and figure out what keeps blocking your success. Sure the job market is tight right now and employers are picky, but are these the real reasons you are caught in a constant state of underemployment or unemployment?

Visualize success, keep your eye on the goal and believe that you can achieve it. There are plenty of jobs out there waiting to be filled; self-confidence sells and employers are buying. If you’re not there yet and you see the roadblocks but can’t get past them, considering hiring a coach to help you retrain your mind so you can achieve your goals. It worked for me – both personally and professionally. When all else fails, do something you may have never done before… change your mind!

“Hi, this is blah-dah-blah (unintelligible name pronunciation). I was wondering if you guys are hiring. Please call me at 240-555-1234.”

Perhaps he was just conducting a survey of local, solo-businesses in Washington County Maryland to report on the current labor market, but I doubt it. My guess is that he is unemployed – and pretty clueless about how to effectively present himself to achieve his goal of employment.

This reminds me of the time an acquaintance was attempting to arrange a blind date between me and one of his relatives. The prospective date phoned me and this is how he introduced himself: “Hi, my name is John Doe (sic). I haven’t dated anyone in a while and I was wondering if you might like to date me.”

Not exactly the best way to make a good first impression!

Before you approach a prospective employer – by phone, email, snail mail, at a networking event or job fair, take some time to develop a script for your introduction. Some refer to this as your “30-Second Commercial” or “Elevator Speech.” It is critical that your introduction answers three burning questions on every employer’s mind:

Who are you, what do you do, and what can you do for me?

First, clearly and precisely state your name. Keep in mind that this is the first time your audience has ever heard your name, so don’t mumble or say it so quickly that it’s unintelligible. Also, if it’s a somewhat unusual name (for example, “Norine Dagliano”), it may take a moment for the listener to grasp it. Ensure that you are heard and understood.

Next, say what you do. Not your job title or that you are unemployed. Focus on your best skills and the types of problems you solve. For example, I might say that “I provide tools, advice and inspiration to help job seekers over come the anxiety of looking for work and land their ideal job.”

Lastly, say something that let’s the listener know that you understand what they need and are eager to fill that need. Which statement impresses you more: “If you hire me to help you find employment, I can pay my bills.” Or, if you hire me, I can help you outshine your competition and get you back to work more quickly.”

Employers hire people who add value and are solutions to their problems. They are not interested in hiring problems that need to be solved.

It may sound overused and somewhat trite, but it’s true – You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. Don’t sink your job search efforts with a sloppy introduction.